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Isolation after sexual abuse

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Sexual abuse victims often carry their pain alone.

Although Sexual abuse victims know that they are not the only victims they often feel alone in their pain. Either they have never shared what they have been through and/or they believe that they have to deal with it all by themselves. This isolation is often fed by shame, the presure to keep it a secret, guilt or thinking there is no support out there. In all cases this limiting-belief  hinders sexual abuse victims from moving forward and to find healing.

The South Eastern Center for Sexual Assault (secasa.com.au) describes it like this:

“Feelings of differentness, alienation, isolation and despair are often experienced by sexual assault survivors if they are unable to share their experiences with others. Societal norms prevent many victims from speaking out about their experience of sexual assault and many victims, women in particular, have few avenues for personal communication. This is particularly the case for victims assaulted by their partners or acquaintances.”

Sexual abuse is 66% of the cases done by someone close, someone the victim trusted. I was abused by an uncle a close family member. This deep violation of trust had a deep impact on how I started to see people. Until that point I believed to live in a world that was safe and where I could rely on the people around me. That was over with one act and got violated again and gain in the years after that by my uncle and others abusers.

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The number one tool of and abuser … is isolation.

I am always shocked to hear how many victims believe they are the only victim of their abuser/s. Isolation is another ‘tactics’ child abusers use. They put a lot pressure on the their victims by threatening them that even worst thing would happen if they ever spill the beans; and/or they bribe their victims by rewarding them if they keep ‘abuse’ under the lid. This cycle of threats and rewards creates often a complete mental dependency of the victim by the abuser. This is seen a lot in domestic cases and causes more isolation after sexual abuse of the victim.

This belief that victims have to solve their problems alone and that they have to carry the burden all by themselves, can drive them to complete isolation and becomes often a problem when victims try to build new relationships, it can lead to depression and in all cases it hinders them from moving forward and healing.

If you can relay to this and feel that this limiting-belief, ’I am the only one’, is hindering you from moving forward please leave a comment below or write me a direct message.

 

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About the Author

Jean DorffI am a survivor of sexual abuse but I am healed; healed from the sexual abuse. I sometimes wish that the scars of the abuse were gone too, but they also remind me that I was victorious in my battle, that I found my inner strength and that I can live a life on my terms. This life experience combined with my training as martial artist, dance instructor and coach, gave me the foundation to support others with similar experiences to instead of only survive after sexual abuse, to strive in life and move confidently forward.View all posts by Jean Dorff →

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